Scientist Swears He's Engineered the Perfect Christmas Song


Algorithms aren't just for Facebook and Instagram (FIX YOURS, IG) anymore. They're also for Christmas music. 

A musicologist at the Boston Conservatory named Dr. Joe Bennett says he engineered the perfect Christmas song, by studying the lyrics, tempo, vocals, and musical key you need to hit Maria Carey territory.  He engineered a new song called "Love's Not Just For Christmas"

He discovered he needed words like Santa, peace, love, Christmas and snow in the lyrics. And it also needed LOTS of sleigh bells.

Weirdly enough...it sounds like something I've heard before and like it's somehow attached to my happy Christmas memories that don't exist BECAUSE THIS SONG IS A LIE. 

Watch the video below.

I like it, but it's not "perfect" to me because it's missing Mariah Carey or ramen noodle hair Justin Timberlake. 

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